COMEDY AND JOKES - 8

Media Credit: Adam Moncure
Comedian Christian Finnegan, as seen on VH1's Best Week Ever and Comedy Central's Chapelle's Show, visited Clarkson University on Friday, January 13 to perform a comic routine in front of students in Cheel Commons. His jokes focused on North Country college life, specifically beer, sex, and Canada.

On Friday night, Christian Finnegan began this semester's lineup of comedians with an hour of jokes intended to entertain Clarkson students.

Finnegan is from Boston, though he apparently hates the Red Sox. For once we got to see a somewhat-known comedian. Every week he can be seen on VH1's Best Week Ever, and has also been featured on Comedy Central's Chapelle's Show.

The show began with Finnegan making fun of the unenthusiastic guy who introduced him, and the night continued with him making fun of himself and other random people in the audience. I was excited to see his show because I had seen him on television, but through the rest of the show I was disappointed.

Most of the jokes were about sex and beer, which probably entertain many people here at Clarkson, but I guess I am an exception. However, I do not think I am alone, because many of his jokes were received poorly. Ladies in the audience were able to experience his impression of going to the bathroom in a bar. Also, there was a vivid rendition of what it was like when one member of the audience was conceived. There were also more jokes about Canadians, which can be expected due to our close proximity to Canada, but nothing we have not heard before. Maybe it is just me, but it seems like every comedian I see at Clarkson jokes about the ratio, beer and sex, and Canada.

I am not saying I hated his routine, but for someone I can see on VH1 every week, and who on the show I think is pretty funny, his routine was disappointing. I found his impression of Vice President Dick Cheney really good. Finnegan described Cheney's "forced smile" while President Bush gives speeches, and compared the smile to what it is like when you are dating someone who embarrasses you when in public.

Maybe my standards were too high for Finnegan, and compared to some of the other comedians I have seen here he was good, but I think the ride up to Potsdam that included "a plane to a car to a van to a rickshaw" tired him out.

JOKE OF THE MONTH: JANUARY 2006

Submitted by: (squiffy)

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.

Nahh" said the bloke,

"I'm just a really bad conductor"